Mike Edmisten Follower of Jesus. Husband of Nicki. Father of Ryan & Brock. Communicator of the Word.

People Pleasing Pastors

I'm a people pleaser by nature. I like to be liked. I enjoy it when people are happy with me and the work I do. That sounds rather innocuous at first, but it can be lethal. If people pleasing becomes the driving force of my life and ministry, I'm Doomed with a capital "D."

Sometimes doing ministry right requires upsetting people…not pleasing them. It requires courage to confront. It takes guts to tell someone the truth. But that is the road of ministry.

Craig Groeschel recently listed four characteristics of the people pleasing pastor. I've seen all of these in my life before. I pray I never see them again.

People pleasing pastors take most criticism personally. Any suggestion feels like a personal attack. We become overly defensive and resentful of even mild corrections.

People pleasing pastors have an extraordinary fear of rejection. If someone questions our motives, doesn’t like a sermon, or leaves our ministry, it can throw us into a depressed tailspin.

People pleasing pastors find it hard to express their feelings. Because we have to “please people,” we don’t feel safe expressing our true feelings and needs.

People pleasing pastors have a hard time saying “no.” Because we want to make people happy, we often over-commit. Although we are outwardly agreeable, we are often inwardly resentful.