Losing Sleep
Sep/092
I've been up since 4:30 am this morning. I couldn't go back to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about our church.
Any pastor worth his salt has had the same experience countless times. It's a side of ministry that no one else sees except the pastor and his family.
I'm not whining or complaining. Just doing something that this blog is designed to do…give you a behind-the-scenes glimpse of ACC, my ministry, and my life.
That previous statement really sums it up. ACC, my ministry, and my life are all so intertwined that it's difficult to separate them into categories. In a very real way, I am ACC. I am ministry.
I make it a point not to neglect my family. They get top priority. But even when I'm with them, it's very hard to "turn it off." It's hard to leave church at church. Ministry is not what I do. It's who I am.
I lose a lot of sleep because I can't shut my mind off. I'm always thinking about our church's vision, where we're going, the things that God is doing, the lives that I see changing, the challenges that we are facing, etc., etc., etc.
Some people waltz into church, sit there for an hour, and then waltz back out the door. They don't give it another thought until it's time to do it again the next Sunday.
That is a completely foreign concept to me. I can't even wrap my mind around it, because I'm consumed with our church. I'm consumed with love for our people. I'm consumed with God's call for us. I'm consumed with the realization that God is calling us to even greater things for His glory.
With all that on my mind, I guess it's not surprising that I can't sleep.
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3:00 pm on September 22nd, 2009
I wonder what my issue is then? I cannot seem to sleep sometimes thinking about ACC. Maybe I cannot turn off the ministry thing either. Once in ministry, I guess it never leaves you. Thanks for the post. I don't feel alone :) Hopefully you won't either, as I know many of the leaders probably do the same.
3:15 pm on September 22nd, 2009
I guess I should clarify this a little bit. Any good leader should lose sleep over his/her church! I've always been this way, regardless of what my ministry position has been. I will say that this type of weigh/pressure has never been more intense than when I stepped into a senior ministry role. That's when it went to a whole new level for me. But you're dead on, my man! Every good leader should be right there with us!