Mike Edmisten Follower of Jesus. Husband of Nicki. Father of Ryan & Brock. Communicator of the Word.

Play To Win In Your Marriage

God has called you to play to win in your marriage.  But far too many people are content to simply play not to lose.

Let me illustrate this principle with some super-practical examples.

For The Guys

• When your wife has to ask you to take out the trash (or some other household chore), you are playing not to lose.  Sure, most of you will do it.  But if you play to win, you won't have to be asked.
• Cards on your anniversary, Valentine's Day, etc. are playing not to lose.  Cards given at random times of the year is how you play to win.
• Your words matter…but your tone matters more.  Saying the words your wife needs to hear is playing not to lose.  Saying the words your wife needs to hear in a loving, gentle tone is playing to win.
• Having regular sex with your wife is playing not to lose.  Taking the load off your wife's shoulders (cleaning up the kitchen, taking care of the kids, letting her take a long bubble bath, etc.) so she can more fully desire sex is playing to win.
• Not looking at porn is playing not to lose.  Training your eyes to be fully satisfied with your wife…and your wife alone…is playing to win.
• Demanding that your kids honor their mom is playing not to lose.  Modeling it for them is playing to win.

For The Ladies

• Nothing is more difficult for your man than for you to run him down in front of your friends.  But let's take it a step further. Not running him down in public is playing not to lose. Building him up in public is playing  to win.
• Asking, "How was your day, dear?" is playing not to lose.  Constantly thanking and appreciating your husband's hard work is playing to win.
• Expecting your kids to respect their dad is playing not to lose.  Modeling it for them is playing to win.
• Having sex with your husband is playing not to lose.  Leaving your inhibitions behind (even if you're a little uncomfortable about it) to increase his satisfaction is playing to win.
• Letting your husband watch the game is playing not to lose. Encouraging him to take a much-needed break and enjoy the game is playing to win.

For Both of You

• Every couple needs to go out on dates consistently.  But when date night comes and you only talk about the kids, you are playing not to lose.  Ask your spouse deep, probing questions.  Talk about your hopes and dreams…stuff you don't normally discuss.  That's playing to win.
• Praying before dinner as a family is playing not to lose.  Making prayer a natural part of the rythym of your family's life is playing to win.
• Going to church as a family is playing not to lose.  Intentionally finding ways to serve God by serving others as a family is playing to win.
• Doing what needs done is playing not to lose.  Going above and beyond to serve your spouse is playing to win.

God wants you to win in your marriage. He hates it when marriages fail.  But a winning marriage doesn't come easy.  You can't play conservatively, just trying not to lose.

Play to win this week!