Mike Edmisten Follower of Jesus. Husband of Nicki. Father of Ryan & Brock. Communicator of the Word.

People Will Leave

I started a series of posts last week that I chose to interrupt due to the Haitian earthquake.  I'll finish the series this week.  Here's the third installment in this series of posts about things that I've learned in my first four years as the Senior Pastor of ACC.

People will leave your church.  You can bank on it.  There are three things you can be sure of: death, taxes, and the fact that people will leave your church.

When I was in various associate ministry roles, I never fully realized this truth.  But once I stepped into the preaching ministry, I became fully aware that people will leave ACC.

This is not always  a bad thing.  If a person doesn't agree with the vision or mission of a church, they should find another church. If they move to a church where they can fully support the vision and get involved in ministry, that is a win for the Church (capital "C").  And our primary concern ought to be the health of the big "C" Church.God's Kingdom is much bigger than any one individual church.

That is not to say that it is always easy when people leave a church. It's not. But I've also learned that this process doesn't have to denigrate into something nasty.

There have been people who have left ACC…and we have been able to remain friends. Not just acquaintances…friends.  I saw some people who have left our church recently and we hugged and talked. It was great.  We are friends.  We are family in Christ.  We just worship at different churches.  It really can happen.

Of course, there will be some people who choose to leave a church in a very nasty, critical, loud way. But that usually says more about them than the church. I can't control how they handle themselves, but I can control how I handle myself.  I will be friendly and kind to them whenever I see them. Whether they return that courtesy or not is up to them.

When people leave a church, it is good to find out why if it's possible.  You may find something that needs attention. If their reason for leaving has a Biblical basis, then it needs to be remedied immediately. But, more often than not, it will become clear that it was simply a disagreement on the vision and direction of the church.

I wish this weren't the case.  I wish that people didn't leave churches. It's a part of ministry that I could do without.

But the reality is that people will leave.  Some will not surprise you.  Some will absolutely shock you.

It's hard not to take it personally when you are the Senior Pastor, but I've quickly learned that this is a big no-no.  If I took everything that people say and do personally, I would have been fitted with a straight jacket and placed in a padded room a long time ago.

When people leave, learn what you can about the situation.  Make adjustments if necessary. Love them, whether or not they love you back.

It might not be the perfect formula, but I think it's the most Biblical approach to an always difficult situation.

And just for a bonus, if you are considering leaving your current church, read this post from Tim Stevens.  He has some wise and balanced insight on the issue.