Mike Edmisten Follower of Jesus. Husband of Nicki. Father of Ryan & Brock. Communicator of the Word.

A Marriage Rant

This is less of a blog post and more of a rant. Sometimes you've just gotta rant. In case you're wondering, there was no single event or person that prompted this rant. It was prompted by trends that I see, not individual people that I know. But if the shoe fits…

And now, on to the marriage rant.

Guys, stop ogling other women. I don't care who it is. The woman you work with. The girl at the mall. The cheerleader at the game. The Victoria's Secret catalog.  Doesn't matter who it is…just stop. And save me your excuses.

"I'm a guy." No, you're a little boy.

"I'm just window shopping." No, you're destroying your wife.

"I can look at the menu as long as I have my meals at home." How sick are you to believe that women are nothing but a buffet to feed your lust and fantasies?

When you got married, you promised to be a one-woman man. There is one woman for your body. There is one woman for your eyes. There is one woman for your mind. End of discussion. Any type of argument or explanation or justification that you offer proves that you don't get it. Marriage isn't for boys. It's a man's game. And you'd better man up before you lose everything.

Ladies, stop ogling other men. There was a time when I would not have included this, but that time has passed.

Ladies, it's not ok. It's just not.

It's not ok for you to Facebook or tweet your lust for the "hot guy" in the movie. It's not ok for you to joke with your friends about it, either. Just like it's not ok for you to dress provocatively for anyone other than your husband, it's also not ok for you to fantasize about anyone other than your husband. It's just not.

And it hurts him deeply when you do. He won't admit it because he's supposed to be strong. He'll claim that it doesn't bother him. But it does.

Husbands and wives, you committed to "forsake all others" in your marriage vows. Remember that?

Anytime you lust or fantasize about someone other than your spouse, it's adultery. If you don't like that, don't get mad at me. I didn't say it. Jesus said it.

I realize the tone of this post (rant) is direct and uncomfortable. But there are situations that require hard, unfiltered truth. This is one of them.

I want you have a happy, healthy, amazing, godly marriage. But that will only happen when you actually decide that you're married to ONE person. That doesn't just mean that you don't have sex with anyone else. That means that you commit WHOLEHEARTEDLY to this one person. It means you honor them in your speech, in your attitude, in your service…and it means you honor them with your body, your eyes, and your mind.

Isn't your spouse worth it?

Isn't your marriage worth it?

Isn't your family worth it?

Isn't your legacy worth it?

Sunday Night Reflections (Monday Morning Edition)

I like to occasionally write some blog reflections on Sunday night. Last night, I was too busy watching Tim Tebow and being ill (keep in mind, those two things are completely unrelated). But I can't let yesterday escape without some reflecting.

• Preaching while ill is something every pastor has to do. (I was reminded by a Facebook friend that Drew Brees doesn't get to call in sick on Sundays, either.) I've had to do it a lot over the years. But it amazes me how many times I feel better while I'm on stage. Yesterday was one of those days. Before and after I preached, I felt awful. But once again, God gave me the grace I needed.
• We were SLAMMED yesterday. We pretty much ran out of seats and I know for sure that we ran out of parking spaces. Two thoughts here: 1. This is AWESOME! 2. This is all the more reason to double our prayers for God to make our next step clear to us. He is blessing us, but with greater blessing comes greater challenges and greater responsibility. Please keep praying!
• Once again, I was reminded how great our team is at ACC…and how much does NOT depend on me. I wasn't at my best yesterday, but our team was. And most importantly, God never brings anything less than His best. And that's more than enough.
• I'm no germaphobe, but yesterday it seemed best that I kept my distance. I really missed connecting with people. I missed the opportunity to give and receive love and encouragement. Our biggest strength is not what happens on stage. It's what happens in the seats. And I missed being part of that yesterday.
• Your inadequacy is not greater than God's sufficiency. It's not humble to believe your limitations are also God's limitations. It is the height of arrogance.
• Registration for the spring semester of small groups is open. The second step of our vision is "Growing," and small groups are where this growth happens. We don't just do small groups. Small groups are an integral part of who we are. Go to ameliasmallgroups.com and sign up today!
• "Who am I?" is the wrong question. The right question is, "God, who are you?" Keep asking that question as you begin your week.
• We are getting set up for something even more amazing, ACC. Fasten your seatbelt. We're rolling!

Top Ten Posts of 2011

Since posts like this seem to be all the rage among bloggers today, I'm making my contribution. Here are the ten most viewed posts on my blog from 2011. As I compiled this list, one thought kept running through my mind…what a year!

#1 – Osama bin Laden

#2 – An Open Letter to My Church

#3 – The Song of Solomon

#4 – Decision Points

#5 – Valentine's Day Is Coming

#6 – Let It Go

#7 – Later You Will Understand

#8 – This Sunday Will Be HUGE!

#9 – The Fastest Way to Unimpress Me

#10 – Sunday Night Reflections (from 9/11)

Lost Causes

We're going to kick 2012 into high gear this Sunday as we launch a brand new series called Lost Causes.

“I'm written off as a lost cause, one more statistic, a hopeless case.” (Psalm 88:4, The Message)

You ever feel like that? I have. A lot. And I'm betting you have, too.

We all come up with a myriad of reasons why we're a lost cause. We struggle with feelings of inadequacy. We have a past that still haunts us. We struggle with the same old nagging doubts. For these reasons, and many more, we feel like a lost cause.

In this series, we're going to tackle this head on. This isn't a nice, shiny, feel-good series. It's raw and intense and tough.

And it might just set you free.

Chipmunk Christianity

I love animal documentaries on TV. I realize that doesn't make me cool, but I'm getting old enough that I just don't care anymore.

One of my current favorites is the Wild Russia series that's been on recently. The cinematography is awesome, and it features some of the rarest animals on the planet. But one of the interesting tidbits that I saw recently wasn't about a rare, endangered animal. It was about a common, everyday chipmunk.

Chipmunks bury food constantly. If you see a chipmunk, it is either searching for food or burying food. All day, everyday.

But here's the interesting part…their memory is only three days long. I don't know how we figured out the length of a chipmunk's memory, but apparently we have conclusively determined that a chipmunk can't remember anything longer than three days. That means that they often forget where their food stashes are located.

Chipmunks are all about gathering and storing food…but most of it never gets used.

As I was watching this show, it occurred to me that most believers in Christ are chipmunks. They are all about gathering food. They always want to stock up on food and store it away.

Food, in this case, is Biblical knowledge.

So many Christians always want to attend another class. They want to do another study. They want to accumulate more and more food…but they never use it.

In James 1, God tells us, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." (James 1:22)

That is one of the least complicated, easy-to-understand verses in all of Scripture.

Don't just store it up. Don't simply acquire more and more knowledge. Use it.

John Maxwell said, "Most Christians are educated far beyond their level of obedience."

Most believers gather more and more food. They stock up. They store it away. But they never use it.

They learn, but they don't love.

They gather, but they don't give.

They store, but they don't serve.

Apparently chipmunks are forgetful and wasteful animals. They hoard food that is never used.

It's time to put a stop to chipmunk Christianity.

Wishes vs. Commitments

As a general rule, New Year's resolutions don't work. It's January 3, and many resolutions are already yesterday's news.

I read a study that said 92% of New Year's resolutions fail. (45% fail by the end of January!) That means a whopping 8% of people actually keep their resolutions all year long.

This is one reason why I don't make resolutions. But this year is different…because this year MUST be different. To be clear, I'm not making wishes (which is what most resolutions are). I am making commitments.

I'll spare you the details of what these commitments are, but I will give you five reasons why I will make them a reality.

1. My commitments are measurable. For example, it's one thing to say, "I need to lose weight." It's another to say, "I'm going to lose 20 pounds." The first is a wish. The second is a measurable commitment.

2. My commitments are realistic. Maybe you have resolved to read more in 2012. If read two books in 2011, don't resolve to read 50 in 2012. Totally unrealistic. I'm not against audacious goals…but I'm also not in favor of setting yourself up to fail.

3. I am making myself accountable. This is probably the most important part of the process. If I am not accountable for making these changes, then these changes won't be made. It's really that simple. The same is true for you. You may believe that you'll follow through on your own, but you won't. You just won't.

4. My commitments are necessary. I'm not making commitments that would be nice. I'm making commitments that are mandatory. To be honest, 2011 was a year that happened to me. I want to happen to 2012. That's not a difference in semantics. It's a critical, life-altering change.

My commitments are not resolutions. They are revolutions. These few changes will revolutionize my life, my family, and my ministry. They really are that important.

5. I am giving myself grace. I will not implement these commitments perfectly. If I were perfect, this type of commitment process wouldn't be necessary. The very fact that I am typing this is proof positive of how imperfect I am. I know I won't follow through on these things flawlessly. I will mess up. I will fail. I will have to recommit. But that's the beauty of grace. A second chance is always there for the taking. It's a second chance to commit. It's a second chance to be wiser than I was before. It's a second chance to live a life worthy of my calling (Ephesians 4:1). And it's a second chance that is not tied to some false division of time, like a New Year. It's a second chance that is available every minute of every hour of every day.

2012 Bible Reading Plan

Is reading the Bible one of your New Year's resolutions? If so, you need a plan. If you don't have a workable plan, you will fail. Guaranteed.

I know you're all fired up to get into the Word this year, but trust me. "I'm going to read my Bible more this year" is doomed to failure. "I'm going to read my Bible more this year…and here is my plan" will set you up to succeed.

Buckhead Church posted a lot of different plans on their blog. Good, good stuff. There is a plan for you in this post. I'm using one of them myself.

Check it out.

Your 2012 Bible Reading Plan – Buckhead Church Blog

End of 2011 Blogging

I'm calling it a year here on ye olde blog. Time for some downtime with the family.

Hope your holiday season overflows with hope and peace. Catch ya in 2012.

Hope

"The Christmas message is that there is hope for a ruined humanity–hope of pardon, hope of peace with God, hope of glory–because at the Father's will Jesus Christ became poor, and was born in a stable so that thirty years later he might hang on a cross."
(J.I. Packer)

Trees and Eggs

I was in Kroger this week and I did a double take. I couldn't believe what I seeing, but there it was. The store was selling Reeses peanut butter eggs right next to their peanut butter Christmas trees. They were also selling Cadbury cream eggs. No joke.

I stopped in my tracks to make sure that I was actually seeing what I thought I was seeing. But there it was. Easter sitting right next to Christmas.

My first thought was, "Are you kidding me? Why not go ahead and display peanut butter pumpkins, too? After all, Halloween is only 10 months away."

But then I had a second, more important, thought. "Christmas and Easter do belong together." To clarify, I'm not talking about trees and eggs. I'm talking about the actual reason behind these seasons.

Christmas obviously celebrates the birth of Christ. Easter celebrates His resurrection from the dead.

Many people in our culture celebrate Christmas. A significantly lesser amount celebrates Easter. But Christmas without Easter is completely pointless.

Jesus had to be born. Obviously. And the miraculous way He was born immediately signified to all that He was the Son of God. The virgin birth. The angelic appearances. These were all signs that Emmanuel…God With Us…had come.

But if that was the end of the story, it wouldn't be a story worth telling. If Christmas represented the entirety of the Jesus story, it would be a very poor story because it would be a story of a failed mission. Jesus came to seek and to save the lost (Luke 19:10). His birth did NOT accomplish that. His death and resurrection DID.

That's why Christmas without Easter is nothing more than seasonal sentimentality.

Christmas and Easter belong together. In fact, they are inseparable. We either accept the entire Jesus story or we accept none of it.

I doubt that this was the message that Kroger intended to preach…but it's the message that I heard. And it's the message that I hope you hear throughout this season…and every other day of the year.